very excited about life!

i have a big girl website now.

cupc@kesuprem@cy.com

hung out with some kid from twitter and it went really well. he kind of reminds me of my brother, but in a good way. he seems to be a good kid. we'll seeeeeeeeeee.

So I'm on a dating spree. Thus far nothing has really come from it, but I have a handful of hilarious stories.

That I'll save for another time.

I kind of am not completely miserable at my job anymore, but my hours next week are cut and that pisses me off.

But again, I'm at the library because Comcast has completely cut me off and I'm not getting it reconnected, so whatever.

Who the fuck needs the internet anyways?

(Me. Badly. That's why I'm getting carpal tunnel in my right hand. iPhone abuse.)

I was going to update but I worked 9-530 today and I'm way too fucking tired and my sister is texting me and annoying me and I'm going to go home/shower/eat/bed so I can do it all over again tomorrow, but even earlier. HOORAY.

But basically I hate my job. And it makes me hate my life because I worry about it before and after work. It's the 24 hour shift. FUCK.

I hung out with that kid twice, it's okay. I don't know. He brought me a PB egg the second time we hung out bc I had said something about them in an email but then he introduced me as Kristen.



I am so sick of everything in this world. People, coworkers, bosses, family, money, bills, coffee, the weather, working, barely making minimum wage, being a college dropout, dating, not dating, being alone, being around people, people talking to me like I AM AN IDIOT, the smell of coffee, paying for laundry, text messages, the fact that there isn't any unsecured wireless within range of my apartment, fighting with my sister every day of my life, friends, the lack thereof, smelling like coffee, panic attacks every time I step on the bus because my Pitt ID is expired, PNC overdrawing my bank account twice because they are fucking bastards, the carpal tunnel I am developing in my right hand from spending too much time on my phone, this kid next to me in the computer lab, dress codes.

Goodbye. Forever.

Oh god. Today was SO MUCH BETTER THAN YESTERDAY.

I worked with the assistant manager and she is super super nice. And I was also "learning" all the stuff I was already taught yesterday so it was super simple. So about half my shift was doing the book work for that, and then the second half was learning the first part of the Espresso bar. I learned how to steam milk and then make lattes and cappuccinos and the kid that was teaching me said I made a better cappuccino than he does.

There's a training glass and after you make it, you pour it into there and give it a minute to settle and the cappuccino is supposed to be half milk/half foam and mine was EXACTLY on the line. Like even my shift supervisor was impressed. I'm the boss.

Then I was just helping doing closing stuff and I spilled my first coffee on my hand, but luckily it wasn't THAT hot. If I spilled a tea on my hand it would probably melt off.

But I've got a few things down and I'm not sure what I'm up for tomorrow but my manager will only be there for the first 3 hours and then it will be the same lady I worked with tonight after my AM left, so even if she still hates me, I'll be good.

Hooray!

Also, I'm going on a date..ish...sort of thing on Saturday. I wasn't even trying to hang out with any dudes but he seems very promising in the emails we've exchanged (although that could mean nothing). So we'll see!

I started work today.

And I'm now in a bad mood so I don't feel like really typing it all out. But my coworkers are awesome, they are all really nice and encouraging and funny.

My boss...I think she hates me. I understand throwing me in the midst of things because I'm not going to learn any other way. I don't understand yelling at me for things that I could not have possibly known. Like that a half-batch of coffee was not enough to make, even though that's what she told me to make. Or how high I'm supposed to fill the cups when they say "leave room for cream" or to re-fill the cups and lids when NO ONE EVER TOLD ME WHERE THEY ARE.

Luckily it was only a 4 hour shift, but I did want to cry.

But like I said, the people I work with more than made up for it.

I don't know if I just don't know how to take the boss yet, or if she hates me, or if it's just because I'm new. But I'M NEW. I don't know ANYTHING, only what you teach me. So when you put me on the floor to "watch Jesse on the register" and someone else shows me how to get brewed coffee, DON'T YELL AT ME FOR THINGS I COULDN'T HAVE POSSIBLY KNOWN.

I work an 8 hour shift tomorrow, but it's with the assistant manager and she is the one who hired me so hopefully it will go smoother.

Because I need this job.



Also, I got a message from Joe on myspace. Yea, that Joe that I had to break up with via a facebook message because he wouldn't answer the phone after 5 days...over a year ago.

He said "im not sure how you feel about me these days but i thought id let you know that my last girlfriend dumped me pretty cold heartedly. it seems that karma is a bitch. anyways i just wanted to apologize for not being straightforward with you last year."

Oddly enough I got an identical message from Mike a few months after he was a dick about breaking up with me.

I'm sick of getting the apology only after someone else puts you in my shoes.

They only say it to make themselves feel better. It does me absolutely no good.

I said this, "oddly enough i've gotten this same message before from an ex-boyfriend. sucks that it took that to make you apologize, but i hope in the future you'll use that, rather than simply trying to make up for things in the past."

Give Jimi enough time to get another girlfriend to dump him and I'm sure another will roll in. Although, probably not, because he wasn't really a dick about the whole break-up. Just dickish tendencies leading up to it.

I hate everyone.

I got a job! Starbucks on Atwood hired me yesterday immediately after my interview. Which was awesome.

I went in today and filled out some paperwork and I start training tomorrow. She asked if I wanted 4 or 8 hour shifts, and then mentioned that the kid running the bar out front has only been working for 4 days, so I said 8 so that I can hurry up and show him up.

I like to be the superstar new kid, so I'm going to have to bust my ass.

Jason is coming up this weekend and is going to put my new hard drive in and configure stuff, but my cable and internet got shut off the other day. Whoooops.

So before I had working internet and no computer, now I'll have a working computer and no internet.

Whateva.

Oh, listen to The Bird and the Bee if you haven't. It's what I listen to while I illegally use Nate's Pitt username to use the computer labs.

Rebel rebel.

So I went to the daycare today. I had to get a paper signed and I decided that I would go close to 5 o'clock so that I could see some of the parents.

Well I'm walking up the street and I see a buggy full of kids but it's too far away and then I hear "TRINA!" And then my heart broke into a million little pieces.

So we stood around for a bit talking to the kids and I wrote my email address on a piece of paper and slipped it in Audrey's pocket so that hopefully her mom will email me and I can go hang out with Audrey once in a while. I seriously love that little girl.

So then they needed to continue on their walk and I had to go inside and face the demon that is my ex-boss.

I finally found her and asked her to sign it and she goes takes me back up to the office to sign it. So we do that and while she is doing something else in the office, I almost asked if I could go see the kids again but I decided to say fuck it and just went back there.

Where she shortly followed. (OF COURSE. BECAUSE I AM A FUGITIVE).

All of the parents were so happy to see me and thought that I was back and that made me cry.

Then I was talking to a girl that works there and she was asking where I was working and I said I wasn't able to find anything and blah blah and then DevilBoss comes over and says "You can't talk about that with parents around."

UM EXCUSE ME? I started to say something but literally bit my tongue to stop myself. I wanted to say "UM I don't work here anymore you CAN NOT tell me what to do." But I figured she'd kick me out and never let me come back. And as much as it hurts to be there, I need to stop in once in a while.

Instead I just said "Okay, I'm gonna go." And left. Sorry that you don't want me talking about not being able to find a job in front of parents so that they will hear and then think poorly of you for firing me because they all love me and hate you.

So I left and cried while I was walking down the street.

Then I was going to Starbucks to apply and on the way there I ran into one of the moms. The one that I babysat for a few times. In the middle of Oakland. So we stopped and talked and I ranted a bit and asked her what they told them about why I wasn't there anymore and they didn't tell them ANYTHING.

So I gave her my number again and she told me she'd call me when she needs someone, which is awesome. SO FUCK YOU BOSSLADY.

Seriously she makes me so mad I could spit. Fire. Hopefully aimed at her face and greasy hair so it would catch fire and/or melt.

So then I went to Starbucks and filled out an application. I was walking away and he said "Actually are you free tomorrow?" And I thought he was going to hire me on the spot but he told me to come back and give it to the manager. Just in case. So I'll do that. Thanks Starbucks guy.

I'm still fuming about that at the daycare. I seriously don't hate anyone in the entire world except for her. And she IS ALWAYS THERE when I go. ALWAYS. And treats me like a criminal. Lady, you fired me for not showing up, not BEATING CHILDREN.

So today sucked on many many many levels.


This morning I woke up to a text message from Jimi. It said something like "I'm sure you don't want to talk to me yet but I just thought I'd tell you the new metric is up." I ignored it for the time being.

Then Elyse took me to the daycare. I've been putting off going since I got fired because I knew it was going to be the most awkward thing ever and I knew that I was going to cry. So I figured with Elyse being with me it would be a perfect opportunity since maybe they wouldn't be mean to me. (Since I wanted to ask for copies of my clearances).

Well I walk in and it's the administrative assistant and the assistant manager the two people I hated the most there. I gave back the two polos to them since what the fuck am I going to do with them and said that I left some stuff that I needed to get. So the assistant director WALKS ME BACK THERE and STAYS THERE THE ENTIRE TIME. Like I was a fucking fugitive or something. It pissed me off so much and seeing the kids was really really hard. I pretty much cried the entire time, especially when I talked to Audrey (my favorite daughter). As I was leaving Matilda told me she was going to come to my house tomorrow. It seriously broke my heart into a million pieces.

After we left I texted a girl that worked there, that was THERE, but kind of ignored me to ask her if she'd give Audrey's mom my email address. She never responded. Which pisses me off. So I sent some other girl a message on facebook asking her to do it. I was going to do it while there but fucking Michelle was HOVERING and I figured she'd either have yelled at me or scribbled it out when I left.

Then we went to Walnut St. so Elyse could visit Carmen and I could get my stereo that's there because shit is going down at VS and I figure I better get it while I have a ride there. Well once there the manager was a complete bitch to me, really super nasty. She even yelled at me saying "I heard you didn't show up on Monday." UM I CALLED OFF, I WAS PUKING FOR THREE HOURS, SO SORRY, BLOW ME.

We left for a bit and I applied to 2039 jobs and then we went back to grab the stereo, where I find out that she is going to "write me off the schedule."

So I cleaned out my locker and grabbed my stereo (which she was listening to, so HA!). She asked me about 17 times if I was still working on Thursday (which is inventory - which SUCKS), and I kept saying yes. But now that I realize I don't have a job after probably next week (I think she knows I know - so I think she's going to give me one more shift and then can me), I'm toying with the idea of just not showing up on Thursday, but not calling off just to fuck her over.

It doesn't matter how I quit because Emily is my reference for there and I'm losing the job anyways, so I'd rather go out in a way that fucks her over like she's fucking everyone at the store over.

And then I figured I'd respond to Jimi's text because why not, having a shit day anyways, let's continue it and he never responded. Which upsets me even though it shouldn't.

FUCK MY LIFE.

So my computer is completely and utterly dead. Which rounds out a fantastic week!

On the plus side Elyse is here and I've had a lot of fun this weekend. We went out for dinner Friday night and Saturday found us being woke up at 730am to go to the parade, which was kind of lack-luster, but it was pretty cool that the police office checking bags wouldn't let us bring our beer in but told us we could go "out of sight" and drink it and then come back. So we did. Hooray!

But yea I wasn't drunk at all, so it was just a lot of standing around making fun of people, which I do enjoy.

Then we went to Mad Mex last night with Talia, which I hadn't been in over a year and omg so good. I had a mango margarita (like always) and then we decided to get a strawberry-mango one to share and omg it was the greatest thing in the entire world. Like dangerously delicious.

But somehow none of us ended up the slightest bit drunk and it was just annoying, haha.

Tonight I think we're making dinner?

I dunno, I'm tired still (it's 2pm) and trying to figure out how to get music onto my iphone without deleting everything. Meh.

Ups and downs for sure.

So I'm taking a break from cleaning my apartment, which has turned into CLEANING my apartment.
I have been cleaning for like 2 weeks now because I get bored and stop and then it just gets all messy again, but it was time.

Currently my entire bed and living room chair are covered in clothes and I have a load in the washer and dryer, and this doesn't count the stuff left in my closet. For someone who wears the same 4 things every week, I have entirely too many clothes. So I'm going to go through it. Actually, I just remembered that I have a rubbermaid container under my bed full of clothes. It's been there (unopened) since I've moved in.

I also consolidated the 3 boxes of junk in my closet to one small box.

I can't help that I am a sentimental fuck.

But I'm currently waiting for a phone call from my mom in which we need to have a talk. Unless I get some surprise job this week, I think I have to move back home. March's rent is covered, but I still owe February's internet, electric, and cell phone bill. So whatever small amount of money I'll get from working at the VS this week and next week needs to go to those. And is not nearly enough for April's rent.

So I figure it will be a lot easier to move back home if I throw away half my shit first.


I don't even remember what the point of this entry was. Bye.